Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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