hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
