i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.