If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it