Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
