somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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