WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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