There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
