I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
