So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
