the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
did you just send me my own nude
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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