I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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