she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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