So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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