But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
