theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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