he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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