It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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