only if we run a train.
done.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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