Who did Billy Mays play for?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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