Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
