Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
