have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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