I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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