I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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