If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
