i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
