You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
