i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
