i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
