apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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