You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
