You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
