Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm too high and old for this...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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