Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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