Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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