Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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