"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
