She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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