i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
