we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you win again, gameday.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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