I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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