just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
