I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
