I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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