Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
