My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he shaved USA in his pubs
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
