North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
