the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
