Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
