i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I could fuck to npr.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
