Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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