If that was your dad, he is hot
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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