You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
