I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
