you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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