Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
