I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize