Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
