he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
