My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize