I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
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Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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