He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
there is glitter all over my balls
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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