but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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